+ TRANSCRIPT

[0:00]

(Multiple Voices Overlapping)

It's pretty much an onslaught of on the senses of sight and sound. I've mainly associated it with like explosive rage. Remember those dished by the end of the day before Rory comes home, you don’t want your roommate to come home to dirty dishes. A whole mental process to shift focus onto something and it often feels like I'm not totally in control of that process. I just have mastered the art of daydreaming about daydreaming. And the talkative, talkative chattiness, like I always talk to much.What about the money that you owe? Shoot. You still have to pay your phone bill. That mental restlessness. Yeah. Which I think now as an adult, I deafen that with music.

[00:51]

I'm Ashley McDonough and like the people you've just heard, I have ADHD. I was diagnosed as an adult and I wanted to understand it a little bit better. So I spoke with a bunch of people about their personal experiences with ADHD as well as two mental health professionals to understand what it is exactly.

Let's start there. First I spoke to Maryn. I’ll her introduce herself.

[1:11]

I'm Maryn Hanmer and I am a marriage and family therapist, but I specialize with kids. I'm also a psychometrist, so I do the whole psycho ed battery with a lot of kids and see if there is a learning disability or ADHD diagnosis. They used to be ADD, but now it is ADHD with the subtype. So it would either be inattentive, hyperactive, or combined.

[1:40]

Can you define an attentive and define, hyperactive?

[1:46]

So an attentive type would be that you're, you're quieter. You're kind of lost in your own thoughts. Um, so in school, unfortunately these kids get overlooked because they're sitting there, they're being quiet, but they might be looking out the window or he might not be focusing whatsoever on what you're saying.

Whereas hyperactive is more the, the hyperactivity and impulsivity where you can't sit still, you can't sit at the dinner table and classmate and you're getting up randomly or you're blurting things out. Adults, I think if, yeah, the ADHD isn’t caught or if they're not aware of that piece, it does lead to a lot of depressive symptoms because again, they feel left out and they're not understanding themselves and it's in a world that doesn't make sense to them.

[2:39]

Maryn touch on what ADHD looks like in adults, but I wanted to learn a little more so I spoke to Vivian, who works with adults on a daily basis

[2:50]

My name is Vivian Zhang, I'm a clinical therapist.

[2:53]

Are there any kind of specific things that you've noticed or learned about in terms of how adults kind of manifest ADHD in adults?

[3:00]

In adults, it's people who are telling me about how they like can't focus at work or the tasks that they need to complete just feels like they never do good enough. Like everything's really fuzzy. Um, it's hard to really know. What to be working on. A lot of times it's people talking about like, I think I'm good at multitasking, but I don't actually. Loved ones also expressed the same sentiments. It's really hard to kind of get that person to focus. It feels like they're inattentive or don't care. Perhaps they're like really aloof all the time. Um, all of a sudden they do these impulsive behaviors and it's really hard to understand what's going on. So those two pieces of the picture when they come together really speaks about what's happening.

[3:49]

Can you speak to how. someone with ADHD, how that's different than the, than the regular feelings of, of distraction or anxiety?

[3:56]

The difference is that for those who have a diagnosis or are actually experiencing or have a mental health concern, that is prolonged. So yeah, like anybody could be sitting there. I'm trying to have a conversation, be distracted and not engaged.

However, for that person, it's like. Constant. It's a lot more work for them to try to pay attention then to not. Whereas for most people attention's there and we get distracted once in a while. For that person, it's a lot of effort to not be distracted.

[4:36]

After hearing these explanations of what ADHD is from a clinical standpoint and what it might look like from the outside, I wanted to hear more from people who have ADHD on their personal experiences with it. I know what mine is like, but it might not be the same for others. We hear some of these comments at the beginning of this, but here are a few more.

[4:56]

As a child, my hyper activity was very physical and I would run around and do a lot of things that way. Um, as well as being very chatty. As an adult, the hyper activity comes out in words and word vomit. You know, that Mean Girls quote about word vomit. It's completely real. Yeah. It's very much, um, a mental and verbal hyperactivity now, definitely mental as well because I keep it inside of it more so my brain kind of goes around in circles and it can be hard to get anything done even when I'm trying to get things done just because there's so much going on.

[5:35]

I think when the strategy that I'm trying to work on as much as possible is just to build habits. As soon as we think of something that I know that I should not forget about later, grab my phone and create a reminder. Like, “Hey Siri, I can create a reminder for whatever. Um (Siri turns on in the background, “What do you want to be reminded about”, they laugh). It's definitely have an impact on a relationship. My attention gets away because I see something that grabs it. And, uh, it's, I don't hear anything around me. Like my focus is on it, like, and it sucks for people that are around me, but it's like, uh, and then I realize, Oh, shoot. Yeah, I've been on these thoughts for like 20 minutes now. You know.

[6:30]

People with ADHD are incredibly sensitive to the idea that they have failed or messed up or done something wrong, or let someone down. The feeling that you messed up and that you are failing at like incredibly basic tasks that other people don't struggle with. These. It's very intense. It's close to like the beginnings of an anxiety attack, sensory wise.

[6:56]

My heart starts to pound, and I get really heavy in the chest and I get, um, I get dry in my mouth. I get my palms get clammy.

[7:05]

A tightness in the chest, like deep, deep frustration.

[7:08]

Dizzy. I can't catch my breath and I just get like panicky. And I started to get paranoid. I'm gonna start to get really anxious.

[7:15]

Just like completely overwhelmed by what really feels like a hopelessness about trying your best to accomplish a task and an hour, two hours later to realize like I didn't do the one thing that I was trying to do. It's like the feeling of walking into a room and forgetting why you walked into the room times a billion, all the time.

[7:40]

So when that happens, it's really hard for me to come out of it, like in the car on the way to work. It's horrible. Like if I don't blast music or I'm talking to someone, I can just keep thinking and thinking and it’ll destroy me. Like I'm just a very anxious, paranoid person in general. But with the ADHD it kind of intensifies it. Um. So I just, I just wait. I just wait. Honestly, I just sit there and I wait and I just really try to let it pass and I try to focus on something else to kind of forget about it.

[8:09]

Like in the past they didn't really, I, I didn't think it hindered me. No. Um, the concentration part maybe a little bit, maybe I also gave them, I didn't give myself enough credit, I think. I think instead I used it as a negative instead of a positive. And as I grew up, I kind of was like, Hey, you know what, this constant need for information and like moving and constant need to do something and keep my mind and focus. I'm going to use that now. You know, like that's what I use while I'm at work. Like sometimes I can have 15 things happening at once. I can pop back and forth in between these because of my ADHD, you know, it's actually, if I'm doing nothing, it's worse.

[8:48]

Understanding that the hyperactivity and inattention, we’re in our minds thinking about a lot of things, which often means that you're problem solving. So it’s a really great trait of ADHD.

[9:00]

The way I've channeled my ADHD is I, I love to chat, so I talk about my mental health. I've had people to reach out to me who have said things like, you know, it's really inspiring to have someone who is so open about this stuff because it makes me feel a little less alone.

[9:17]

When you're distracted by things a lot, sometimes they're distracted by really nice, beautiful things. You like, get to pick out the little details in the world around you that other people aren't noticing. You know? And it's like a fun way to experience beauty in the world.

[9:34]

When I finished speaking with Vivian, I asked her if there was anything else that she wanted to say. And she ended the interview on a really kind note. So I figured I’d close with the same comment. Here it is, thanks for listening.

[9:48]

I think a lot of times people understand like depression and anxiety cause these are the bigger topics that we do tend to talk about in mental health. When it comes to ADHD, I think a lot of times people mistake behaviors as like there's an intent.

Like “they're not paying attention.” Or, “they just don't want to work hard enough on this.” And I think it's really detrimental when we don't fully take into consideration other people's experience. Because we forget how much they're trying so hard. I think it's important that if you are experiencing certain symptoms, you know, reach out to someone that you feel comfortable talking to. Um, learn a bit more about maybe what's happening. If it feels comfortable enough, talk to your doctor about it. Just like it's important for you to reach out for support.

[10:40]

Thank you for listening to “What is ADHD” created by me, Ashley McDonough. This piece is part of Fixt Point Arts and Media's Points of Empathy project made possible by Canada Service Corps. A special thanks to Vivian, Maryn, Matt, Glo, Jake, Sam, Tom, Brittany, Lukus, Devin, Gerry, and Kathleen.

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[0:06]

I was listening to this other podcast, which is really strange, and they're talking about, “don't do the thing you love.” And I was like, Hmm, that's interesting. I was like, why wouldn't you want to do the thing you love? Like that's what we've been taught to do. And they said, because it ruins it. And so I'm now just figuring that out, that is like now ruined for me because not completely ruined, but it's like a little bit like, I don't want to talk about that because I do it every day, all the time. They said like, you're passions should be your passions and I don't know how they put it, but basically like don't do the thing like that like makes you feel human. Cause then when you do the thing that makes me feel human at work, you no longer feel human. You just feel like a worker. Yeah, exactly. So I currently just feel like a worker.

[1:00]

What's your occupation?

[1:02]

I'm a education, um, and program coordinator within the arts and culture sector.

[1:07]

I am a fifth year doctoral student.

[1:12]

I'm a social worker.

[1:14]

I am a sales consultant for a pharmaceutical company and I'm the founder and director of D Dance Inc.

[1:21]

Like when I'm out and I meet people and they ask me what I do, I feel very like self-conscious and it how I respond. If I'm like confident, I'm like, I'm a curator. It feels like, well, I've only done a couple shows. So can I really say that? So then I kind of say I'm an emerging curator and I feel like I need to do like jazz hands cause I'm like, like a butterfly emerging or something. And I really hate that. So I kind of usually just say that I work in the arts and I'm kind of figuring it out.

[1:52]

Like, do I give you the long story?

(off mic) Give me whatever story you want.

Are you editing this? Um, so I think like I've always been the, uh, you know, that friend who helps everybody out and talks people off the cliff when they're feeling overwhelmed and upset or anxious. Oh, actually it started earlier. I used to sing my sister to sleep when she got anxious.

Yeah. She'd wake me up at night and so she, I'd sing her to sleep when we were kids, we shared a room together. So I think that I always kind of gravitated towards that helping profession.

[2:28]

It was my original goal. Um. To get a PhD and work as a researcher and a university professor.

After I did my MA, um, my father passed away and my mother was in bad shape, so I didn't want to leave her. I interrupted my studies thinking that I would pick it up again later after she had recovered. That took longer than I had thought it would. And in the meantime, I, uh, got married and had children and, um… Yeah. Was overwhelmed by that experience and, and, uh, so, but have been able to return to it now so...

[3:09]

So in 2014 I was diagnosed as a type one diabetic myself. Um, I've danced my whole life since I was four. I am going into clinics and I'm having conversations with doctors, with healthcare practitioners of different walks of life. The really bigger goal is to help them stay current and understand. What new medications, what new research is coming out, and how and if and why it might help patients live better lives. In the same way that the goal of D Dance, although it's more recreational and it's more on the, I guess, education and psychosocial side of life, living with chronic illness, not so much treating the actual medical stuff, but the stuff that helps you continue to comply with the medical stuff. Um, because when you have a chronic illness it's 24/7, it's 365. Um, it's remembering to take different pills at different times. It's, it's constant management.

[4:07]

Like teaching that understanding of that does it, the workforce isn't about right or wrong, it's about how you problem solve. Um, it's about like telling interns and telling like young workers that like everything goes wrong all the time. That's totally fine, and that nothing is supposed to be perfect and it's, you know, you fail hard, fail fast, and like you will kind of get there and you'll learn and you'll grow more. So that's like my favorite part of the job, cause it was really scary from the outside or from the outside coming in as a person, like who is young in the workforce, but as a person who has a lot of experience, I see that and I'm like, “Oh, let me just like, let me help you. Let me show you that. Like, it's not a big scary world out there, that there are people that care and that they want you to succeed.”

[5:00]

So does your job keep you up at night?

[5:04]

Uh, it used to, I always use to be, so afraid of making mistakes. It's making mistakes and you're like, did I do this? Did I do that? And then you roll in, toss in your sleep.

[5:20]

So yeah, I'll, I'll look at something I've written like a year or two ago and think like, “Oh, this is so bad.” And but like in the moment, I know, I thought it was good. So now I'm like, “is this stuff I'm producing now any good or am I going to like hate it in two years?” And just cause I hate it.

[5:35]

As the whole planning organization. Did I think too muc?. It's like totally internal. It's totally internal.

[5:41]

And you know, the other things that have kept me up at night is when I get an email usually, or I have an interchange, but it's usually something over an email where I, whether that person is curt in their response to me, or they're not responding, when someone doesn't respond on more likely to get in my head about it and I worry I've made a mistake, or I've insulted somebody, or I've caused, you know, irreparable damage in the relationship. You know, it's not about me losing a client per se, cause, um, but it's about me wanting to not let somebody down and not, you know, rock the boat and disappoint somebody.

[6:23]

I think being like really not self critical, but like really looking at your work and revisiting it is important, but it's also like very like embarrassing and cringy I'm like that kind of person who will like not go to bed, like not be able to go to bed cause I'm like thinking of something I've done or something I’'ve written or something you've said like years ago. And I'm like, Oh. And I, I like, I don't think I would, I don't think I'm like a really regretful person, but I definitely like cringe a lot on myself.

[6:59]

Um, so what is one thing that you regret about your career?

[7:06]

Standing up for myself.

[7:08]

Ooh, interesting. Tell me more about that.

[7:10]

If I have someone in my life that I care about and I respect, and if I have the courage to have a hard conversation with them, I think it's way more productive than kind of letting things slide off your back.

I hate the saying, pick your battles. I think it's completely absurd. Picking your battles is like not the way to get things done. It's being transparent and being honest. As a young person in the workforce, you give so much authority to age and authority to, yeah, exactly. Authority to age, authority to… What’s it called when someone's been there a really long time? Seniority. Um. And that's not how innovation works. That's not how like thinking works. That's not how society works. Like getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. So have you heard that before? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's my biggest regret.

[8:00]

I should have continued in school, but I didn't. Why? Because I ended up working, as you know, in a law firm and I pretty well do the same work that the lawyers do. But I don't get paid for it because I don't have the education. That was one mistake that I made. But in the same respect, it allowed me to raise my children because my job allowed me to work part time and take care of them at the same time. So I got to enjoy that and often said I'd go back to school after they grew up, but I never did. Unfortunately.

[8:45]

I eventually like would like to maybe buy a house or have a family, or spend time with my family that are currently here. Um, and a lot of times I have to choose work over my family. It's like I'm a human. I get sick. I'm a woman. If I want to have children, I have no job security. Why does that have to affect the way I work? And the way my attitude, um, like, why does that affect the attitude that I have going into work or the job market?

[9:14]

When my kids were little, I always worked part time, and in fact, I was working at a public agency at the time, so literally my salary paid for my childcare. Um, so I wasn't, but it was really important for me to stay as part of the workforce because I was very worried as a mom and as a woman that I would lose confidence in myself as a, as a, a worker bee, I guess. And so I just wanted to keep my foot in the door. That was very insightful, I think, in hindsight. My life's work for the last 20 some years has really been the raising of my children. And I feel like I'm sort of semi retired now. They don't require my labor in the same way that they required my, my physical labor, um, when they were younger, obviously. I approached being home with my kids, with you guys and all of that. I approached it very much like a job because I didn't see it as an identity.

So I saw it as something that I did and a part of who I was, but not the totality of who I was.

[10:18]

That's personally fulfilling, but it's professionally fulfilling. I think there always needs to be a personal component to what you do. And I think the obvious personal component is that, um, at diagnosis, it felt like diabetes did not make sense. Um, with everything I had done, it felt like, um, this was the biggest, just lemon that I could have been dealt at that time. It felt very unfair and it felt like, what is the rest of my life going to look like? And it, I thought at the time it wasn't going to be happy. I felt like it didn't fit. Um, and I think founding this program and writing the things I wrote and working for this pharma company doing this specific job, um, is a way that I've been able to make diabetes fit my life instead of my life fit diabetes. I've made it make sense.

[11:05]

You know, you're, you're more likely to have a bad year than a bad day in the sense that the longer you live, the more complicated your life gets and the harder it is to find sort of happiness in every part of your life or every part of your life that is going the way that you want it to go.

And so it can seem like, you know, the one part of it that's not going well overwhelms everything else. And I think that's more true when you're younger than when you're older.

[11:39]

A year feels like a long time, but like you said…

[11:43]

The older you get, the faster it goes. Yes. So a year brings many changes, every year brings many changes and they go faster and faster the older you get.

[11:55]

Your 20s are so confusing. So I think maybe confusion, but like in a hopeful way. Like I think I'm coming out of it a lot better than I came into it. I, I mean, I, I was in a good place, I think when I started, but there's been ups and downs within that time, and I think this is like the start of an up.

[12:17]

And that's how I feel now, very much like I'm at a sort of a, a beginning place again, which is, which is nice, and also, uh, shockingly terrifying in the same way as that it was terrifying when I was 19.

[12:32]

Mm. I'd say have your cake and eat it too. Yeah. Cause I think I have a good life. I have a good life. You know, I have a beautiful family that is sometimes annoying, but they're awesome and I have a great practice and have a great, I feel like I've had a really good career and if I had to stop it right now, I'd be really proud of what I've done so far. I've been able to explore and do what I want to do, and I feel like I'm just going to get more and more of that. So I'm a lucky lady. So yeah, I'd say that.

[13:14]

Thank you for listening to “Have Your Cake and Eat It Too” created by me Alessandra Pozzuoli. This piece is part of Fixt Point Arts and Media’s Points of Empathy project made possible by Canada Service Corporation. Thank you to Charlotte Gagnier, Sarina Luchetta, Vienna Paolantonio, Deanna Paolantonio, Cindy Paolantonio, and Gayle Saifert.

+ TRANSCRIPT

[00:07]

I discovered that we actually only see one part of the moon, but there's the other side, the dark side, which we never see.

[0:17]

Sacred spaces.

[0:20]

A sacred space for me. This is, um, a really lovely question.

[0:27]

My sacred place would be...

[0:32]

...when we were just sort of create this space, and then you have people just sort of walked in…

[0:35]

and I'm very drawn to sacred spaces or drawn to the sacred ever since I was a child. It's something that fills me with awe.

[0:48]

Because, um, I grew up in Nepal where the, it is said that there is a temple or a statue or a relic, religious relic, in every block of the city.

[1:02]

They brought all their hope there, they brought their worries there, their sorrows, their joys, their gratitude.

[1:13]

And then you get to Parkdale and it's just, you just created a bit of space and people just move into it. And there's a kind of a sigh like, “Oh, I've been looking for this. I've been looking for a little space to be a little bit quiet or to make.”

[1:29]

Whether it's in the home, in the family or at school, or like in a church. And or in temples, like these are pretty institutional spaces, you know?

[1:43]

When you see Honest Ed's go down and a condo go up, like I am railing against the universe. Do you not understand how sacred Honest Ed’s is? But it's not gonna mean much. You know, like in 30 years no one's going to be weeping about Honest Ed’s there's going to be something else that's sacred.

[2:20]

Trees and how trees are sacred to me.

[2:27]

Perfect tree maybe. And also I have to find a tree I can go on.

[2:34]

I kind of use them in that same way. Um, so I live over in the East end, and when I, um, come up out of the subway and walk home, sometimes I touch trees as I'm going along.

[2:51]

It was a safe place to grow up. You know, when I think about that yard and my grandmother's little house, it's like I can see these people who were such a great influence in my life.

Just sort of moving through, their there.

[3:08]

But essentially they're like planting the forest now so that in 500 years it's going to be an old, like old growth forest. I just felt like that was so beautiful that, um, people would want to engage in this sort of sacred act of creation and growth that they would never see the results of.

[3:30]

And so I think that a lot of what makes something sacred is, comes from the people who have held that space.

[3:54]

When another human points it out. She was looking at the moon and she was like, I got distracted by…

[4:02]

...the moon and it's this space for me is about connecting to all that’s...

[4:09]

...comfort. Everyone's seeking comfort.

[4:16]

(toilet flushes)

My secret place is washroom, definitely. (laughs)I wanted to really, uh, something that hiding, um, that my own pain with the, like my family or someone else, then I need to go in a washroom.

[4:50]

All the stuff that's uncomfortable, and I'm not saying we need to come up with a solution, but we at least need to show up honestly.

[4:58]

I stopped and I looked at the morning and it was, uh, it was, it was so perfectly framed in that spot between, in this passage in the Milky way passage.

[5:07]

Kind of reminds me like I'm not alone, even though I'm reflecting in myself, that there are other people who are there too, giving me perspective and letting me release myself.

[5:31]

It's like an onion, putting it in a jar, putting some vinegar in it, like, I don't know what preserving it means.

[5:41]

Well, I think of preservation and creation. I also think of destruction. Cause that's the dark side of the moon. It's the shadow.

[5:51]

To preserve is a contraction and to create is an expansion in each of our lives are constantly contracting and expanding.

[6:00]

The table was just fully alive of people talking and cutting and making much like a pier, but a but a bit more like bustling of activity, and…

[6:11]

...I also thought about being a part of something and being so interconnected. As much as we're like in our own individual journeys, I also feel like there's kind of like the slow movement within all of us that are kind of moving in the same direction.

[6:28]

So for me, like I am familiar with the sacred being everwhere, external.

[6:38]

The sacred has that, that that mix, it's strong and it's vulnerable and it's tough and it's gentle and it's…

[6:45]

...creating the sacred within and how I was brought up to feel that movement, dance, art was all shameful. One of the things I loved as a child was dancing. I was able to just like just dance and feel joy.

[7:08]

The kitchen cupboards were and the lighting coming in from the Kensington market street lamps. There was a wall that was white. I play music by myself and then I'd find myself dancing.

Dancing by myself was safe. Dancing in the dark was perfect, but dancing with my shadow now. That became a whole other game, and that's where I learned to feel sacred and my body was dancing by myself with my shadow.

[7:41]

That it's not scarce. It's not endangered. That it... it just needs to be allowed.

[8:00]

On one level there is just as chaos and people are yelling and there's these things are happening, but there's this underlying quiet that you can't just. You can't miss here.

[8:11]

It's the same thing as the dark side of the moon, right? It's like, yes, there is like amazing nature around it, and some of it is so powerful and so scary and so fiery, and it like destroys people, you know? And there's a power there.

[8:27]

And sometimes I feel like a bird in a cage there. So there's that side of it. But I also feel like a bird in a cage who’s learning to… Learning about my wings.

[8:37]

And that's where it comes to, I suppose, is is that recognizing for me is recognizing the power in both.

[8:45]

I started looking at the moon just a year ago. I discovered that we actually only see one part of the moon, that there's the other side, the dark side, which we never see. You know? And I think that dark side is also sacred.

[9:24]

Thank you for listening to “The Dark Side of the Moon” created by me, Christen Kong. This piece is part of Fixt Point Arts and Media’s Points of Empathy project funded by Canada Service Corp. Thank you to our storytellers; Mel, Nikki, Sha, Nash, Deirdre, Sky, Michael, Ko, Tsering and Tendon. Special thanks to Making Room Community Arts for making this piece possible.

+ TRANSCRIPT

[0:00]

Sounds of frying and chopping

[00:10]

Okay. I'm going to cook a fried salmon rice. I'm cutting onion, carrot and the green onion, eggs and the salmon and green onion and some broccoli. And the rice. Fried salmon rice.

[00:51]

What do you think Chinese food is?

[00:53]

Wow. Um, that's a great question.

[00:57]

I've been asked that question many, many times. The first thing I say is “wow.” It's a very complex, you know, cuisine, because China has many different regional cooking.

[1:11]

It's all about texture, texture, and heat and creating like combinations.

[1:20]

You would get rice with certain vegetables, like, which is egg and tomato, or like these…

[1:26]

Rice with a meat dish. With some spices and, you know, something very aromatic.

[1:33]

Other dishes in terms of like noodles, like fried noodles or like dumplings.

[1:36]

Once a month, we'd always go to dim sum.

[1:39]

A lot of people think Chinese food is mainly, just fried rice

[1:41]

Super heavy in MSG. Super heavy in grease. Carbs heavy. Unhealthy.

[1:46]

Mostly like how you go to like the mall. Let's say the food court. There's like these Chinese places that sells like fried rice, like fried noodles and they have like orange chicken.

[2:00]

I don't know if this is the food we eat every day. (laughs) It's a part of the life and the, I dunno, I, I never think about it.

[2:18]

My name is Leo Chan. I was born in September 30th, 1949 one day before the people's Republic of China. I am a retired professor chef. Regional Chinese food is North, South, East, West. Each have their own uniqueness and because of the, the geography, the weather, the people, tradition. Uh, Southern food is what I was brought up with. Have a lot of, uh, produce a lot of, uh, white meat because, uh, as you know, if you live in Hong Kong, which is an island, and, uh, there's a lot of fresh seafood and the the lady that's doing a lot of cooking and my grandmother too know that we all love seafood and fish and shrimp and whatever is in season. A lot of people go to a restaurant and say ,’what is the special today?’ ‘What is the soup today?’. We go and say, what is the fish today?

[3:26]

With my grandma and my cousins, we would go for dim sum on the weekends, uh, or these like kind of fancy or elaborate Cantonese, like banquet style, like nine or 10 course meals, um, with like fresh steamed Cantonese seafood.

[3:45]

Is this thing called (???) . It's, it's like, um, it's made out of apparently the, the real thing, the real stuff is made out of turtle shell, but it's this black herbal jelly is usually powdered shell that's cooked with a bunch of other herbs. And then it becomes this jelly, and it's usually in this beautiful, like very cylindrical ceramic dish. And you can only get it as certain stores that, um, that are specialized in that. And whenever I go back to Hong Kong, I always beg my parents to like, get me one of those.

[4:20]

I understand in the North, uh, they do not have the same weather. So some of their food will involve some preserved food and it's more heavy. And, um, no, even the peking duck.

[4:34]

My name is Kelly Lu. I was born on November 3rd, 2004 and I'm in high school, grade 10. I was born in Canada, but my family's from China. Yeah. There is something called (????) and (???), which is just kind of like a soup, like a stew kind of thing. And then inside there's different vegetables, lamb meat, and you can, when you go in the restaurant, you can break parts of like a bread type of thing. It's called bean. And you break into parts and then you give it to them and they put the soup in.

[5:07]

Another one that ate a lot as a child is essentially probably the most simple of dishes, uh, tomatoes and eggs, and you like, you throw it all on the white rice, you mix it, and it's just amazing. My earliest memories as like a three to four years old as a kid in daycare in China, like I remember being the first person in my daycare to eat this dish in particular, and I love it so much. I would eat it and go back into line before everyone was served for the second serving. And now when I eat it, it just, it's something that always fills me up, number one.

Number two, it just reminds me of my childhood.

[5:45]

Do you think like the food that you eat at like Mandarin, Is that real Chinese food?

[5:53]

It's not a real Chinese food but it tastes, whether they mixed, they mixed like, they changed it a lot.

[6:05]

What is authentic Chinese food? Do you have to be Chinese to cook it? You certainly do not have to be Chinese to eat it.

[6:14]

Uh, my name is Ann Hui. Um, I am the Globe & Mail’s national food reporter, and also author of a book, “Chop Suey Nation: The Legion Cafe and Other Stories from Canada’s Chinese Restaurants.” So I was born in a then small town outside of Vancouver. Uh, called Abbotsford. And then we moved to Vancouver shortly after. So I pretty much grew up in Vancouver and in the Vancouver area. Um, Vancouver has really, really good Chinese restaurants and it has a really diverse range of Chinese restaurants. And so even though we were eating Chinese food all the time, it could still always mean something different. Um, I write about in the book this, this encounter when I was six years old, um, of this Chinese food that, that was being offered at my elementary school. Um, and again, this was Chinese food that was so different from what I was used to. This is the, the ginger beef and the sweet and sour pork with the really, really, really bright red sauce. Um, and the spring rolls and the chop suey. Um, these were these Chinese restaurants that we'd see in these small towns when we would go on like road trips to Banff or something. I mean, this was essentially food that was created by the first Chinese men who arrived in North America and who arrived here in Canada. These were men who didn't come, uh, necessarily with, with a cooking background or cooking experience. These were men who were, uh, barred from other fields outside of cooking in kitchens or working in laundromats who really ended up in restaurants, uh, because they didn't have other opportunities or, or other, other ways of making a living available to them. As long as people have existed on this planet, they have moved around, they've talked to one another, they've shared recipes and their cultures, and cultures have come up against one another. Um, and mixed and blended. You know, food has always been, uh, this mixing of ideas and, and cultures. Um, and so many of the dishes that we know and love, are the result of people moving from one part of the world to another.

[8:31]

uh, at the beginning, I cook, uh, I cook the Chinese food mostly . Every time when I started cooking, I called my mom and ask my mom, how did the, uh, how was the procedure? What do I do? And she used to teach me on the phone how to cook. Yeah. Traditional Chinese food. But you know, like a traditional Chinese a food takes time. You need the long time to prepare and the process is a lot. And uh, but I'm a working mother and the so busy, I didn’t have much time to stay in the kitchen. So after I mix the Canadian and the Chinese, I have my own way to cook. So, it's faster. And it tastes not bad.

[9:24]

My family and my wife's family, when we get together, it's like United nations. We have all kinds of ethnicity. For me, the most important part is not what kind of food, it’s being able to eat with family members. I would hate to eat alone. I was very fortunate that I have many jobs that carried me around the world and across Canada and as a, um, you know, person from a head office, they put me in hotels and they treat me royally. The only thing that I, not regret, but feel disappointed from time to time is I end up eating all the meals alone. And worse, I will be eating alone with lots of people watching me. The area that I feel disappointed that I wish my wife was with me now. I wish my family, I wish my bosses.

[10:40]

What are some memories you can think of related to dumplings?

[10:46]

Uh, yeah, whenever. I eat dumplings like, especially in the Chinese new year, because I cannot go to visit my parents and my family. And, uh, I remember the time we used to make dumpling together because this one, if you make by yourself, it's a, it takes time, it's hard. So it reminds me of my family and, uh. And, uh, I really miss them and we had a good time when we used to make dumplings.

[11:23]

I think it's a blur of memories, but, um, it's just having time, spending time with family, with like some certain foods. Um, there's always a sense there that like, this is mine and it's, it's familiar. So when I eat it, it's almost like this symbolic act of like, I’m nurturing who I am.

[11:44]

So my dad was a professional cook or chef for most of the years that I was growing up. And because he was cooking professionally, a lot of the cooking at home was done by my mom, just cause my dad was often tired by the time he got home. The last thing he really wanted to do was cook. Sunday night dinner was kind of his, uh, his moment to shine, especially as he got older and as he retired and we got older and moved out of the house. Um, Sunday night was kind of the night we were all supposed to come home and have dinner together. So that was when he would usually try to do something a little bit special. Sundays were the time we would get together, we would eat, itt was really like my dad's way of showing like how he cared about us and how he felt. It's again, it's like the Chinese father's way of saying the things that he's not going to say verbally.

[12:37]

Um, well, I was born in Canada, but my family's from China. I always go back to China during the summer. Whenever I go back to China, I get to have all these different types of food. And then when I have them back in Canada, I think of like the fun summer memories. And when I go visit my family, and even though I am not born there, I still have something to relate to China because I can still like, say that I've eaten like parts. It's kind of like how I'm eating parts of the culture and like connecting it to myself.

[13:07]

I think food and belonging, they, they're really intertwined. Um, it really matters at the end of the day where it comes from and who it comes from. Um, so that's something I really believe in with, with any food that like the people and the story and the place. Um, like the land literally affects how food tastes.

[13:30]

So much of our idea of authenticity, what is and isn't an authentic version or recreation of a specific dish is tied up in our own personal experience. It is tied up with, you know, when we came to know that dish, where our family is from, what specific region, what specific city or town.

[14:00]

So I guess the bottom line is food is a very personal thing. It’s not eternal.

[14:14]

Do you wish that me and Kelly will also learn how to cook a lot of Chinese foods?

[14:20]

Yeah, of course. I want you and Kelly to cook Chinese food and eat Chinese food too, because Chinese food is healthy and delicious.

[14:31]

(chopping & frying)

Cooking is not complicated. Actually, if you want to, uh, make good food, you have to enjoy cooking. When you enjoy, uh, then you put the, you put love inside the food. And the food will be delicious. (chopping continues)

[15:23]

Thank you for listening to “Authentic Chinese” created by me, Lucy Lu. This piece is a part of Fixt Point Media’s “Points of Empathy” project made possible by Canada Service Corp. A special thank you to everyone who contributed their voices to this project, including those not heard in this final edit. Leo Chan. Ann Hui, Kelly Lu, Peter Lu, Morris Lum, Shair Massoud, Emily Pleasance, Christie Wong, May Zhang and my mom, Weidong Xu. Music provided by YouTube Audio Library, Eastern Thought by Kevin Mcleod at Incompetech.com and Light from Underground by Chan Wai Fat, sung by Po Sun Yi at Freemusicarchive.org

+ TRANSCRIPT

[0:00]

As a second generation Canadian, I never felt like I completely understood my cultural background. Um, but I was raised around so many different communities and cultures. It's because like, they have a sense of culture and sometimes like I feel like I don't, and um, the reason why I'm so like into their culture is because like, I have, I never really grew up with like either like a Filipino culture, or even the Guyanese culture. And so I was just like, I just learned through my friends.

[0:40]

You seek out people who you think might look like you to be able to fit in or, sound like you or might have thoughts similar to you.

[0:49]

We moved to Alberta. There's a whole monument in Edmonton dedicated right by the parliament building to Ukrainians. So yeah, the community is huge. Like we have our own churches, our own schools, festivals, everything's happening and people are, like close-knit, like it's very unusual. There are some people who choose to like stray from it, and people find that unusual, but like if you're not, your involvement doesn't really have to be grand, but like if you choose to completely separate, like people are like, why? Like, you know, like, why aren't you part of our big families?

[1:29]

Yes, of course. My family is like, uh, my grandma. She have 16 children. Um, so it's like huge, big of course. Um, actually, I came from Sri Lanka. I born in Sri Lanka.

[1:49]

So I'm Sudanese. I'm from, uh, Northeast Africa. So my culture, um, we're very strong on family and just like, uh, familial bonds and we're very hot. We're known to be very hospitable. So even if like just for instance, if my friends come over to my house, like my mom will make sure you're fed and we'll get like offended if you're not eating or if you're not, even if you're full, you will have to pretend like you're hungry and eat like,vso our culture is very much around being hospitable, treating your guests or anyone that comes to your house as if they're family, and just making them feel very welcome.

[2:23]

Filipinos are like really like family oriented. So like, even if I say I don't see my extended family for like months or like longer, when we do have a meetup, it's like, “Oh, nothing's changed”. Like, so like there's no sense of like, Oh man, I missed out. It's like nothing ever changed. Like every time I meet up with them.

[2:46]

Oh me, my dad and some of my sisters like got there early to help my cousin Ian's and like, you know, get dressed like the pre engagement like, or pre wedding, like rituals.

Like, Oh they pictures and everything. So I was taking like an Instagram story and I'm like, Oh look behind the scenes of the wedding getting ready. My grandma's like, Oh Peter, you look so cute. I'm like, thanks grandma. I'm like, Oh, great.

[3:16]

When I was in my first year of university, I saw this Facebook post of this boy. Um, he was from my high school a year younger than me. Unfortunately, he had committed suicide. We both had the same drama teacher, and he was also Sri Lankan like me. Uh, that was the only thing that connected us in any way. But I remember this was the first time that mental health was an actual concept for me. Like it was real.

[3:58]

So to be completely honest, it's not a topic that's very talked about in our culture and our community, or it's more, I think now maybe more people are kind of being, um, like are aware of it, but it's not something that's like discussed all the time.

[4:17]

It is always, um, as, at least in my family, it was thought of as, Oh, okay, this person's just exaggerating. Or being a drama queen, or just causing drama.

[4:27]

You know, I had a dad who was like a pretty hard, you know, father figure. Um, and then I had an older brother who kind of took that to the extreme. So, you know, it's always like, kind of cry me a river, you know, man up, that kind of thing.

[4:42]

I think it's, it's, especially with our culture. A little bit hard because everybody, a lot of them are older. They're set in their ways, they think, so it's kind of very hard to change their mind in that sense because they're already fixated on how they think, like life is.

[5:00]

But yeah, our culture's known to not be very accepting of these and not understanding that there is such thing as mental health. Like I think their understanding of mental health is you're psychotic. That's it. You have an issue and it's not, you know, depression doesn't exist. You made that up. Like, you know, you're, you're just sad, but there's nothing to be sad about it because you have a roof over your head and a job. Why are you sad?

[5:30]

Oh, they think, Oh, maybe this person is so mean, or like, uh, they're crazy. They think, Oh, this, this person is crazy. That's what they made a name for them. They don't know what that's, that's called depression. So then nobody talked to that person because they think this is, this person is crazy.

[5:55]

While I was interviewing everyone, I wondered, what do these cultural communities have in place to help people who are stressed and dealing with important transitions in life.

[6:10]

Whether it's like calling someone over the phone or inviting someone for tea. That's another thing. We're huge tea drinkers and tea is a solution to a lot of things and solves a lot of problems in our community. So yeah, we're huge tea drinkers. So that I feel like is a way of like maybe not just the actual tea itself, but the fact of like, you're helping to serve someone. You're welcoming someone into your house or. Sharing a cup of tea or talking. So like tea is very informed, but I think it's more the actual, like the actual concept that comes with having tea with someone.

Literally. It's just like that time alone.

[6:48]

We love our black tea like orange pekoe and we drink a lot of milk. Tea felt called chai, which is like we, um, you have the tea bag, the black tea, and then you have, you add milk and you add different spices, whether it's clovess or cinnamon, and then you roast it. We also are coffee drinkers. We love coffee.

[7:10]

Like they're always like, if something's stressing you out so much, especially at work, just quit. I'm like, they're, they very much like, they're like eliminate the fat, the stress factor out of your life. Uh, there are ways, like, if it's to that extent.

[7:26]

Super important to be able to stop. For me, I get like massages every, you know, once every couple of months or a, you know just having like a really solid, uh, person to go talk to about this kind of thing. I have a really, luckily I have like a few really close friends and I'm able to sort of vent and unload and they're always really good with giving advice and more just helping me stop my overthinking and the anxiety that might come with that.

[7:56]

Like growing up, our parents kind of had like that familial bonds in the community. So I don't think anyone, even if you were depressed, you were always with people, happy, talking, eating, drinking. So they never, even if like one person was sad or something was feeling off, I don't think they equated it to being a mental health issue. It's just kind of like whatever their circumstance was at the time. So it was very like, situational, not that mental health is an actual, um, like an actual concept and something that affects people in different ways. So I think it was just very like situation base. They don't really understand the concept.

[8:32]

Um, so I got into psychology, which was really hard to explain. I'm Chinese in background, so trying to figure out like the translation for certain words that don't actually exist. Um, at that time it was really challenging cause psychology and psychiatry and all the other psych related stuff, mental health, whatnot, do not have actual vocabs or did not when I first started.

[9:03]

I never heard about like depression or anything like stress or depression, but there is, they have, but they don't know. This is a problem. So, so many people like jump in the world and they commit suicide. I'm thinking now this is what happened to them. Yes.

[9:25]

They don't, again, like they see it as such a foreign concept that it doesn't affect them.

That they're immune to it, which is obviously not correct. So I think maybe just having a conversation, I feel like maybe we're scared or maybe I'm just scared to have that conversation with them because of how I think they might react to it, but maybe that's not in reality. I'll be surprised, pleasantly surprised by them, like being like, Oh wow, this actually exists.

[9:47]

They know that, okay, we're not allowed to show emotions, or my emotions can not be taken seriously. So they would try to just conceal it, hide it, uh, with the best of their ability. But obviously they can not hide it for too long before it just, everything just goes boom.

[10:07]

In Canada now they have lots of counseling, counseling services. Um, so many advisers, they are in Canada, in Tamil. So even the, if they have a problem with the language, um, they can talk to the time that they can talk to the Tamil councilors and get some my ideas.

[10:44]

When was the first time you ever heard the word depression?

[10:46]

When I came to Canada after I went to school, um, there is one of my friend, she don't talk to nobody. She was very quiet and she cry if anybody talked to her, she cried like. She's scream on them. So then I asked my teacher what happened. She told me she have a depression. Then I ask her, what is the meaning of depression? She explained to me.

[11:20]

Thank you for listening to Cultural Wellbeing created by me, Narmisha Vinayagamoorthy. This piece is part of FIXTPOINT Arts and Media’s Points of Empathy project made possible by Canada Service Corporation. I would also like to thank the interviewees for allowing me to use their voice and creating the sound piece.

+ TRANSCRIPT

[0:05]

A year ago in January, somewhere in the middle of January. I came to see those guys and I said, okay, I'll go in. And when I jumped first time, I thought “I'm going to die” (laughs)

[0:25]

And I remember when he started the first time last year in the middle of January. I think it was, it was exceptionally cold, and he dove in head first, which you shouldn't do. And he came up and the look on his face was like, he was somewhere else, like just shock. I don't know how else to describe it, but he's been coming back ever since. And everybody's got a story like that.

[0:53]

The weird thing, right? It's like you just. You just trust that everything will be okay. You breathe, you go, you don't, you don't freak out and run back. It's, you just keep going. Once you've made that decision, you go and it's fine.

[1:09]

It's so nice to stop your norm of daily life and just say, Oh, that's good.

[1:24]

We, eh, we gather here pretty much every week on Sunday. That's a group of, uh, enthusiast of the winter swimmers just swimming every Sunday in the ice cold water, just for fun. And for the health reason.

[1:43]

We are at the Humber Bay park and it's November 17th and nice balmy minus two, I think the water's plus three or plus. I'd put money on plus four, actually. Yeah. So it's sunny. No wind. It's a perfect day.

[2:05]

It’s addictive. Yeah. You, you, you like that, um, that rush of your blood in your body. So that's probably what keeps me coming back.

[2:19]

My name is Yaro Polowianiuk and I am a registered massage therapist. I started a long time ago in the 90s I started in Oakville for that coronation park. I remember it was for the new year charity. It was only first time like a 30 people, and the next year was already 50. Now, uh, if you go there or this year they will be something like around 500. People jumping into the water. Then I realized that why you wait for one year just to do it again if it feels so good.

[2:56]

Carlo Luigi De Masi now you've got my full, full name and my occupation is a, I'm a businessman. I'm an entrepreneur. We met someone on the beach here when we were looking for a place to swim near our new condo, which is right up the road here. And we met this Ukrainian guy who was tanned and here it is end of September, and he's in his Speedo lying on the beach. He obviously has gotten in the water, and I thought I was a brave person by going in at the end of September, and he sort of gave me a smile. He had a twinkle in his eye. Remember that as I was asking him what the water temperature was like, he's like, no, it's fine, but you should keep coming and see. Then next thing you know, it's January and she's moving ice out of the way to be able to get into the water and the addiction sort of kicked in from there. And here we are now.

[3:42]

My name is Lukas Novak. I come originally from the Czech Republic. I'm an air traffic controller by profession. We lived right here in the neighborhood. My wife and I, who is in the water right there. I'm Deborah Novakova and I work for an economics research Institute in Prague, which kindly allows me to live in Toronto most of the year, so that's really good.

[4:02]

Because we are outdoor, outdoor people. We would go up to the mountains and there are beautiful mountain lakes of course, and they invite you with that beautiful blue, they invite you to do something. I mean, I just have to take a plunge and so we would go slowly to the water and it's like three, four degrees Celsius. It's like, Oh, a few seconds and out. But then it's like, wow. And we will do it in the summer when you know the sun is strong and all that. And that's where we found out immediately. Like, wow, it feels great.

[4:30]

You get in the water, your body is in crisis mode because it's being attacked by this cold temperature. So it pulls the blood from the extremities, all of it to the core to keep it warm as long as it can. And when you get out, it floods your extremities back with a super-heated blood everywhere. All the capillaries, all the stagnant flow that we all have that we deal with with acupuncture or massage or meditation or what have you, then it's automatically all gonna happen in the water. It's amazing. This therapy is called Creo therapy. Creo in Greek, word is cold. You feel it even, uh, after one time, if you just go.

[5:06]

It's fantastic. And it's not only a myth, you. You just feel it. You feel it, that you feel great.

[5:14]

It's calmness. Like you kind of center yourself, you get grounded and you just go and you trust.

[5:20]

Breathe with it and stay as long as it feels right, and then come out and get dressed as fast as you can with frozen hands.

[5:27]

I am swimming because of him.

[5:32]

I swim because of HIM!

[5:33]

Because he's so cold and all the aches and pains goes away.

[5:57]

Not only health the event, but also some kind of a social event. You just are here after swim, we eat, we talk, we exchange some views, uh, business’, and it became kind of a social.

[6:17]

Nobody wants to leave afterwards. That's the thing. It's not just, it's not just like, I don't know, exercise at the gym. You know, we don't just come plunge, leave. There's another group that does do that, but these people all tend to want to stay together afterwards and it's just sort of evolved. It's not planned other than there has to be a hot soup and there has to be a tea like you because you need to be able to replenish the cold, especially in February.

[6:45]

It's that sense that we miss because we don't have our families close by, so we kind of created this one, you know? Yeah. Not to have created, we have become part of it because it was always there and it's just grown.

[6:57]

I find even from three years ago to now it has gotten more elaborate, like the feast after and the group is bigger.

[7:07]

It's an incredible group of people. I'm just, I'm just happy. I'm like Ringo Starr. I'm just happy to be here. You know?

[7:40]

The reason we do it together is cause it's scary. Even, even though I've been doing it three years, I don't know if I could go by myself. Especially when there's a new, a newcomer, you'll hear Valerian in particular, he has this ho ho that he'll do with quite loud. He wants everybody cheering when somebody new goes in because the support is important.

[8:05]

I think it's different for the people don't understand until they come here and actually do it. Um, I think I'm going to drag one or two people from my office to do it with us.

[8:16]

I better knock out the wood. I don't get any flus and colds. I'm okay. This one. I don't need to, even the flu shots.

[8:32]

I think all of us go in, all of us come out. It's, it hasn't killed anybody. It won't kill you. You'll do it once. You'll survive because it's not like jumping out of the plane. Like really? It's so much safer than that, but it will give you probably a similar feeling, you know?

[8:58]

Thank you for listening to Winter Swimmers created by me Orla McNelis. This piece is part of FIXT POINT Arts and Media's Points of Empathy project made possible by Canada Service Corps. I would like to thank Allah, Chris, Yaro, Carlo, Lukas, Deborah, Ravi, Alise, Valerie, Olga, and all the incredible people I met in the winter swimmers group.

+ TRANSCRIPT

[0:00]

Raccoons, probably the smartest wild animals on earth. They're able to adapt to different situations and conditions within days and can transfer this knowledge to their following generations. Recently, the number of raccoons in Toronto has risen to nearly a hundred of these guys per square kilometer. This phenomenon gave the city the nickname, “The raccoon capital of the world.” During a press conference in 2015 Toronto Mayor, John Tory, officially declared war to raccoons.

[0:28]

(John Tory Speaking) “We've discovered that the members of raccoon nation are smart, they're hungry, and they're determined. But our job, together with our private sector reinforcements, uh, is to show them that we are smarter, uh, defeat here, uh, and I think the people of Toronto would agree with this, defeat is not an option.”

[0:46]

In the city of Toronto, you can find raccoons everywhere. In walls, coffee shops, commuting in the subway stations, fighting cats in backyards, and in liquor stores. The animals have become a big part of the city and everyone has a story about raccoons, whether he is of love or hate.

[1:05]

I love raccoons. I think they're adorable. They're little rascal.

[1:07]

I for one, welcome our new rodent overlords.

[1:09]

I feel like they are dangerous.

[1:13]

I had a baby racoon that had gotten trapped in a garbage can.

[1:16]

I love raccoons. Racoons are like little pandas that you can like squish. They're like little fluffy cats.

[1:26]

So I decided to investigate more about the cultural and scientific phenomenon of raccoons. To begin with, I travelled to York University where a PhD, Suzanne MacDonald, has More than 10 years is studying the raccoons, and has appeared in the various documentaries and interviews about these animals.

[1:40]

Okay. So I've been studying raccoons for about 10 years now. I'm interested in how they've adapted to the urban setting. I've been looking at how, uh, urban raccoons live in the city, and also comparing them to their rural counterparts. So ones that don't live in the city. And the beautiful thing about raccoons is that they adapt to everything. So they are what we call generalists. So they can eat anything. Also omnivores. So just like humans, we can eat everything. So can raccoons.

[2:15]

We found a raccoon in our back, laundry room area, eating the garbage from my birthday party, which had been the day before. And, uh, it wasn't eating the sangria fruit that was left behind.

[2:26]

hang out in the area with, uh, with an open can of cat food. And, um, I realized very quickly that, uh, after dark, uh, you're less likely to get attacked and more likely to get attacked by raccoons because what I got was a family of raccoons have three baby raccoons.

[2:45]

So most species evolve in an environment and they can only live in that environment, right? So that, you know, cheetahs live on the Savannah and they run and they catch their prey. But raccoons are more like us, and that they can adapt to different kinds of food, and that means they can adapt to different kinds of environments. So they grew up, they evolved around rivers, but they turns out, can live pretty much anywhere as long as there's water and food. So the city turns out to be pretty ideal for them. And they kinda like it.

[3:17]

When did you start to monitor raccoons with cameras around the city.

[3:22]

Um, I've been monitoring raccoons for about seven years, um, and recently been doing it to see how they adapt to the new raccoon resistant organic green beans.

[3:35]

The concerns about the possible raccoon invasion started not long ago when the Anti-Raccoon green bins were introduced in the city as a measure for preventing the bandits from stealing compost.

[3:46]

As you know, the green bin program has very successfully collected organic waste, and we have turned into compost. Almost 50%, the green bins become a feast, a veritable feast for the raccoons, and once a free meal is found, they return again and again, and there's probably nothing, nothing that represents more of a nuisance in a big city like this, then the feasting of the raccoons on the contents of the green bins.

[4:11]

The city has spent around $32 million in the new bin, and although these ones were useful for a couple of weeks, they weren't challenging enough for the smartest animal on earth. Soon after the media started to post videos, video records were opening the green bins with their paws, just like humans will.

[4:32]

Um, and I've been watching to see how they adapt to those. And I was worried, some of us were worried about, um. If they could no longer get into our green bins, would they starve to death?

You know, would they lose that source of food? And I can tell you that no, they're not starving to death. Cause I've been measuring dead raccoons for three years and they are absolutely no, no thinner than they used to be. So they're getting their food somewhere else. They, their population is self-limiting. So, you know, there's only as many raccoons as the food resources will support when there are, there isn't enough food, then they will, there will not be as many raccoons. Raccoons, are kind of, I would think at maximum capacity right now in the city of Toronto. Usually what happens when that occurs is that there's a disease like canine distemper that goes through the population and cuts the numbers down. So that happens in a cycle and it's usually every few years in the city, we lose thousands of raccoons because of disease.

[5:23]

What kind of diseases are you talking about?

[5:25]

So canine distemper is the main disease that raccoons get. They get it from pets that have not been vaccinated against it. So they actually pick it up from us, not the other way around.

Humans can't get this disease and there is no cure. So when you see a raccoon in your backyard that's acting strangely, wandering around in the middle of the, in the middle of the day kind of stumbling, and you might think, Oh, I have a raccoon that has rabies. It's not rabies. It's canine distemper and it's a terrible, terrible way to die. They die in a lot of pain and so you should always call animal services and they will come and euthanize the animal. There is no cure for that, and because raccoons are in such high densities in the city, when one gets it, it's spread immediately to hundreds of other animals.

[6:10]

Raccoons have been adapting to human life for centuries. Since the first Spanish colonizers, these animals have been struggling with the human tyranny. However, and after witnessing extinction in central America and the Caribbean, raccoons found their headquarters in the Northern part of the continent. It changed them from regular members of the

Animal kingdom to a full army. Slowly they have conquered the cities and having invaded entire neighborhoods, but their most successful achievement is having become symbols of the pop culture, especially here in Toronto.

[6:44]

My name is Curtis, uh, general manager at Bandit Brewery. And originally Bandit was actually going to be called Raccoon City brewery, uh, based on the city of Toronto, always being referred to as the raccoon capital of the world. And through much discussion and a further decision, they decided to go with Bandit just based on how, obviously the stripe across raccoons eyes give off that very bandit-like look and overall the name flowed better. The image that we ended up going with matched the name and it just, it, it rolled off the tongue a little bit better. So ultimately we went with Bandit.

[7:17]

Do you have any experiences here in the brewery with raccoons. Like any raccoons trying to get in and steal your food.

[7:24]

Um, so in the summertime. Especially, we have our garage doors opened up. Um, thankfully while they're open, the raccoons don't really try to come in, but there've been plenty of times where once the doors are shut and you'll see them on the patio, you'll see them pawing at the glass and it's always nice. People are always taking pictures of that while that's happening cause it just fits the vibe and the space very well.

[7:43]

Do they drink for free?

[7:44]

I would allow that 100%

[7:46]

Like any food or anything like that?

[7:47]

Free food, free drinks for all raccoons.

[7:50]

So how do you guys, keep the raccoons outside all the business or preventing them from getting in, or you know, stealing your food?

[7:57]

As much as, uh, we've referred to them as bandits. They've actually been very pleasant and very kind and have stayed outside on their own accord. So we haven't really had to do too much to keep them out. They've, they've done it themselves. They usually stay away.

[8:07]

Any particular stories you can recall right now?

[8:10]

Off the top of my head, no. Literally, the only thing that I can think of is over the summer, there were just many occasions where the raccoons are just hanging out on the patio. And that's mostly like after, after close, like when there were no, people are around.

[8:26]

Because I wanted to know more anecdotes about raccoons. I posted on the Facebook page. Weird Toronto to get more stories.

[8:33]

(Sebastian talking to himself)

All right, let's go to the web page Weird Toronto.(typing) Pretty sure that there, I can find really useful information or I can ask for some advice and can ask people for some stories about raccoons. Well, surprisingly, the photo of Weird Toronto is a crazy raccoon. All right. Let's see what happens here. Well, many stories about the TTC. I don't see anything about raccoons. Perfect. Put something here about raccoons, I’m looking for stories about a raccoons. (typing) Post. Perfect. Let's see what happens. Lets close Facebook and we want to wait till tomorrow to see what happens.

[9:55]

(birds chirping)

The post said, “Hi there. I'm looking for people who want to share their personal experiences with raccoons.” Surprisingly the post got 209 comments in which people share videos and photos. So off that I review them and I contacted the owners of the post, Kara, and Gabrielle and the interviews and share their stories with us.

[10:22]

The place where I live, my back stairwell that goes into my backyard is open to the outside. So I often have some raccoon encounters in there. The most dramatic one was. One day I was finishing up my work for the night, and I opened the back door to the stairwell to let some fresh air in, and I looked outside and I saw a raccoon was halfway through eating a pigeon. It was horrifying, and so I immediately closed the door and went back inside. And I have a big dog. I was about to let out into the backyard for her last a bathroom break before bed, and I was already in my pajamas. So now there's a half eaten pigeon mangled by a raccoon stairwell, blocking my way inside. So I had to get dressed, take my dog for a walk around the block to avoid this. And unfortunately, I was hoping that all the mess would be gone the next morning but it wasn’t. Well, my lovely roommate who has a much stronger stomach than I cleaned it up for me, and I bought him a bottle of wine and a cupcake as a thank you for dealing with the mess.

[11:35]

I grew up in a neighborhood with quite a lot of raccoons. Uh, it was on the edge of a protected area. Um, and it also had a large student population, so there was always a lot of garbage, uh, just, you know, in, in people's backyard or in people's, uh, behind people's houses. So between the one and the other, knows the recipe for having a lot of raccoons around.

I went into the garage, or I heard something from the garage and it was a raccoon blundering around. Uh, disoriented because it had a jar of peanut butter lodged on its head and it couldn't get the jar off. It was really stuck. And, um, so what I did was I took the broom and I, uh, I, uh, sort of pushed the raccoon out of the, uh, out of the garage. Uh, and then, and then I went and I took a peanut butter jar off. Like I went and I basically wrestled with it. Yeah. And, uh, and pull the jar off his head. And as soon as the jar was off his head and the raccoon realized that it was outside, he ran away. So I was thinking ahead because if I'd have done this in the garage, and then like I pulled the jar off and then it's me and my raccoon in this confined space, then the raccoon might've panicked and I might not have gone well for me.

[12:54]

How can we control the rising population and how is like a good behavior, a good interaction, human, raccoon. So, because we don't want to kill the raccoons or anything, we have, we want to, you know, like peace with them. So what does that good measure?

[13:11]

Yeah. I think coexistence should be our goal, right? That we want to live with wildlife. The presence of wildlife means that we have the healthy city. That's a good thing. We want to have a healthy city. Um, you know, the main thing don't feed them. Um, when you feed them, the females get fat and they have even more babies. So the fatter the female, the more babies she's going to have. You want to keep them relatively lean so you don't want to feed raccoons. I know that's hard, but because they a darn cute, but just try not to feed them and don't blame them when they get into places. If you leave your window open, they're going to get in. They don't know. They're not supposed to get in. There's no rule book for raccoons. They just go, Oh, it's open. I'm going to come in. Don't leave your garage door open. Don't leave your garbage can with the lid open if you don't want them in your garbage can.

[13:57]

I feel like the, uh, the appropriate population control. The way to deal with this, uh, with the situation is, is to be smarter about, about our food, about our garbage.

[14:08]

Just try to think like a raccoon. Everything around your place where you live is appealing to them. They are just like you. If they could, they would sit on the couch and watch Netflix and eat junk. That's what they want to do. And, so if you give them the opportunity to do anything, they're going to take it. So just try and go around your, where you live and think like a raccoon and think, what would I do if I were a raccoon and then block that off so that they don't, if you don't want them in your house, close your windows and lock your doors and don't let them in your garage and they can get in the smallest little opening.

It's stunning, like two inches they can get in. So you've got to really outsmart them.

[14:54]

The situation is our responsibility, our fault, as a species, ours as a culture. And uh, and I don't think that they should have to pay the price for our choices as a, as a people.

[15:07]

And so I think we should use our big human brains and try to outsmart these little guys.

They are just trying to make a living in the city. And we need to respect that, let them do it and don't interfere with them.

[15:20]

Thank you for listening to “Raccoon Invasion” created by me, Sebastian Mahecha. This piece was created for FIXT POINT Arts and Media’s Points of Empathy project, made possible by Canada Service Corp. Also. I'll love to thank that people contribute to this piece; Conrad, Carlo Montonya, Susannah Macdonald, Bandit Brewery, Louis, Gabrielle, Karen. Also want to thank the Globe and Mail for the audio piece.